There are other ways to deal with that, Knives. Killing them is not the answer. [Some of his anger drains away when he hears that. It wasn't hard to believe that their day on display would still be haunting his brother, but it's clear Vash is still very angry.]
Are you still seeing your therapist? Did you even try talking to him?
[Knives is pretty sure Hannibal won't be the help that Vash assumes he will be, but also it hadn't really occurred to him to seek that kind of help. He had made up his mind the best way to solve the tormet of those memories was to kill the humans responsbile.
And it had worked. He had finally slept well and felt so much better after they were dead.
He realizes he can't say that to Vash, though.]
No. [He says, after a moment. He manages to look away from Vash and seems sincerely regretful for a moment.
The only thing he actually regrets is how upset Vash is now.]
Do you think that's what I should have done? Talked to him? Or to you?
YES! [Opps. That might have sounded a bit too angry. He tries again.] Yes, of course that is one of a million different things you should have done instead turning to murder and violence! [Nope, still incredibly angry.]
[For a long time Vash is quiet. He's so angry and so utterly disappointed. He's been trying to defend Knives to people for so long. Thinking Knives really was changing only to be shown that he was so very wrong.]
Do you really not see why? Why just killing them is wrong and for more than just because of how it hurts me? Those people that you killed also have family. They also have people that care about them that are now hurting because of your actions. Do you not see how your actions hurt more than just those that you kill?
How am I ever supposed to trust you again without it? [Which might be what hurts him the most at this moment. Is the fact that he doesn't think he can answer that question.]
[That makes him feel weak and stupid. His jaw tightens.] I didn't have the urge to kill everyone to get to the few who hurt you. My rage isn't widespread, anymore.
That is different. [He will admit to that. It's not perfect like he wants it to be, but it is different.] But you still lied to me, Knives. You tried to lead me into believing you weren't contracting with me for good reasons.
[His prosthetic arm gives a brief twitch.] Of course I haven't. I am just further disappointed that you honestly thought it would be easy to fall back into those old habits again to trick me. [And it had worked.] Next time be honest with me.
[Knives tilts his head at that. He seems honestly surprised Vash would go this route. Perhaps because he's killed millions and these deaths seem so little compared to what he's already done.]
What are you suggesting, brother? You're going to turn me in to the authorities here?
I-- I-- [He trails off. Unsure of what to do or say next. That would be the right thing to do, wouldn't it? Those lives lost need some sort of justice, don't they? There has to be some sort of punishment for what has happened, shouldn't there be?] I don't know. [He gives his honest answer. Too terrified of the type of punishment they might see fit to give his brother for his actions along with the small part of him that understands why Knives did what he did to turn his brother in. While also feeling as if he should now that he knew the truth.]
Or... or maybe I'll stop coming around. [Because what is something Knives cares about? The only thing that comes to Vash's mind, as self-centered as it may seem, is him.]
[He isn't prepared to control his emotional reaction to that. It shows on his face, and much more embarrassingly, the shock and pain at the suggestion projects outside of his body. He reels it in quickly, glaring at Vash instead.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
chiming
no subject
Date: 2020-09-21 09:28 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2020-09-21 12:17 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2020-09-22 08:19 am (UTC)From:I couldn't stomach it anymore.
no subject
Date: 2020-09-23 01:13 am (UTC)From:Are you still seeing your therapist? Did you even try talking to him?
no subject
Date: 2020-09-24 05:30 am (UTC)From:And it had worked. He had finally slept well and felt so much better after they were dead.
He realizes he can't say that to Vash, though.]
No. [He says, after a moment. He manages to look away from Vash and seems sincerely regretful for a moment.
The only thing he actually regrets is how upset Vash is now.]
Do you think that's what I should have done? Talked to him? Or to you?
no subject
Date: 2020-09-24 06:37 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2020-09-24 06:39 am (UTC)From:Okay.
no subject
Date: 2020-09-27 06:22 am (UTC)From:Do you really not see why? Why just killing them is wrong and for more than just because of how it hurts me? Those people that you killed also have family. They also have people that care about them that are now hurting because of your actions. Do you not see how your actions hurt more than just those that you kill?
no subject
Date: 2020-09-28 02:39 am (UTC)From:I'll try to be more considerate of that in the future...
Besides, as long as we're contracted it won't happen again.
no subject
Date: 2020-09-28 07:57 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2020-09-28 07:58 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2020-09-28 08:00 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2020-09-28 08:02 am (UTC)From:[That makes him feel weak and stupid. His jaw tightens.] I didn't have the urge to kill everyone to get to the few who hurt you. My rage isn't widespread, anymore.
You honestly can't see how that's different?
no subject
Date: 2020-09-28 09:56 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2020-09-28 10:04 am (UTC)From:Difficult. Harder than I expected. [He frowns, realizing he said that aloud and he isn't sure how Vash will react to it.]
no subject
Date: 2020-09-28 11:05 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2020-09-28 11:07 am (UTC)From:I've never had issues trying to manipulate you before, and when I couldn't I would react by hurting you.
Or have you forgotten all of that?
no subject
Date: 2020-09-28 11:29 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2020-09-29 07:59 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2020-09-30 07:13 am (UTC)From:[He takes a breath and slowly lets it out again.] You can't just get away with their deaths, Knives.
no subject
Date: 2020-09-30 07:40 am (UTC)From:What are you suggesting, brother? You're going to turn me in to the authorities here?
no subject
Date: 2020-09-30 07:54 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2020-10-01 12:18 am (UTC)From:How about... Once we find a way out of here, I'll face whatever justice system you think will be just. Not just for this, but for all of my crimes.
no subject
Date: 2020-10-01 10:36 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2020-10-02 12:23 am (UTC)From:If that's what you think is best.
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From: