IC Contact for duplicity

[arkfall]

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[endthem]

[In the name of desperately wanting something that makes him feel more useful than nightmares, he clings onto the opportunity to share. Even the small bit of interest that Knives is showing eggs him on.]

Due to whatever restrictions were placed on me when I arrived, I haven't been able to touch the guards and scientists working the program. [Which he assumes has been pretty obvious by the fact that they have been able to drag him in and do whatever they want to him, but making it clear is important for the next point.]

So, I've been testing this limit, scanning the lower ranking employees to see if all of them fall under the same protection... but I have found a few that are not. They're very low-ranking, but I can control them without a problem. With enough time, I'm sure I can gain access to secure locations or gain valuable information through them.

[arkfall]

Interesting... [Knives says as he leans back in thought.]

Vash and I cannot attack the guards and scientists either. I found that out when they arrested us for destroying sexbots that looked like... [His jaw tightens a bit.] Like someone from our past.

It's interesting they don't give the same protection to all.

It's good that you've realized you can use that. If we can figure out how they block our abilities we could figure out a way to stop it.

[endthem]

[He gains a thin smile. As always, he can't help but fill with some amount of pride at Knives' approval.]

I'm not surprised that they've underestimated us. And yes, the plan is to find out how to take the reins from them, at the very least removing their control over us.

[There's a world of possibility there... but, unlike the previous world he'd been trapped in, the goal is not to find out how to be returned home.]

[arkfall]

That's good.

I don't know about you, but this is not what I counted on for an afterlife.

[endthem]

[The smile fades at that.] No... it isn't. [Especially with the nightmares tormenting him, it's easy for the anger to rise up.]

Each day that you're forced to endure it as well infuriates me. I will find a way to change it.

[arkfall]

You realize when you do, the both of us will likely end up dead again? Does that bother you? [His own voice is passive, as if he doesn't have an opinion either way.]

[endthem]

[His fingers tighten around his mug of tea before he can catch himself, and his voice carries more of an edge than he means it to.]

I won't let that happen. If we can take control of this place, we can decide how we want it to be.

[arkfall]

And what do you want to be?

[endthem]

[Maybe it's how often Knives has asked him recently to share his opinions whether he wants to or not, but instead of turning the question around and asking Knives what he would want, he just answers for himself.]

I want the extent of my abilities back. I want this damned quota to be removed. I want you healed.

[arkfall]

And... what if I don't want to be healed? [He still seems to be carefully keeping his voice passive, almost apathetic.]

[endthem]

[Pulling out of whatever thoughts he's been wading through in his head, he slides Knives a guarded glance.]

...What do you mean?

[arkfall]

I chose to disappear. I wanted it. Having this body... [He clenches his fists and looks at them with a vague sense of disgust.]

It's torture.

[endthem]

[Legato is quiet for a moment, watching him with a carefully guarded expression.]

...You can't mean that.

[arkfall]

[He sighs deeply and then considers Legato again.]

Do you mean that you can't imagine the version of me from your home thinking such a thing, or that hearing me say it at all hurts you?

[endthem]

[He glances over to meet Knives' eyes only briefly before looking at the table. The fact that it takes him long seconds to come up with an answer to say makes it clear that the answer he's trying to avoid is 'both.']

You spent so many years recovering. You had so much you wanted to do... [It's impossible for him to fathom Knives wanting to disappear after that.]

[arkfall]

And I lost.

What is the point of continuing when all of that planning was for nothing?

[endthem]

You're alive. Right now.

[He can't help the sudden, quiet urgency in his voice then.] It wasn't for nothing, because whatever we did or did not do before, we are here now. We can build what you'd wanted here.

[arkfall]

Here? How many of my siblings are here, exactly?

[endthem]

[...Legato shuts his mouth at that. He tightens his jaw, both stubbornly not wanting to step down from his point, and not wanting to mention the one thing that even has a hope of helping him keep it.]

You have Vash.

[arkfall]

Yes. I suppose I do.

Do you think that's enough?

[endthem]

[He doesn't dare mention the other foolish things in his head right then.]

Is it not?

[arkfall]

It hasn't been yet. It's very rare that I'm not consciously aware of my skin. It feels like a vice, trapping me in place.

[endthem]

Always? Surely there must be something we can try to help that feeling...

[arkfall]

There is... [He says carefully and then just sort of looks at Legato to let the implication hang between them.

As much as he hated the quota, at least it gave him a reprieve.]

[endthem]

[And there it is--that stupid, hopeful glimmer inside of him that will never go away, no matter how hard he tries to kill it. He seizes onto the unspoken statement between them with everything he has.

At the very least, even if everything changes, even if his own purpose becomes so muddled and diluted that he loses track of it entirely, Knives will still need him in this.

It's a desperate, sad sort of relief, but he needs Knives to need him.]

I've already offered you all that I have and all that I am, but if there is anything more I can give to improve your existence, please take it.