Knives... you-- you... [He's angry. Angry and upset. He feels played. Lied to. The voices of everyone telling him not to trust Knives ecchoing in his head. He should have listened to them.] You bastard. How could you? How could you!?
[Knives doesn't like how he feels watching Vash so upset. It used to be annoying and frustrating, but now it makes his chest ache uncomfortably.
He almost thinks he should apologize, but that wouldn't do anything to change what happened. He also hates that Vash would make him feel that way over taking out rapists. He crosses his arms over his chest and grips onto them tightly.]
How could they? [He counters instead of admitting the mixed feelings in his chest.]
Because this is the system that they live and grew up in! We need to fix that first! It's a terrible system that needs to be changed. Killing people isn't how we're going to get that done!
Even if that tree was one of our sisters? Or me? Is that really how you feel? You should never give up on someone. They can always change. [Otherwise he would have given up on his brother long ago.]
I don't know what I'm angrier about. The fact that you killed those people or that you lied to me about it. You said that you weren't contracting with me to make sure you were doing it for the right reasons and to focus on helping Legato become a better person. Was any of that real? [Not that Vash is sure he will believe it even if Knives says some of it was true.]
There are other ways to deal with that, Knives. Killing them is not the answer. [Some of his anger drains away when he hears that. It wasn't hard to believe that their day on display would still be haunting his brother, but it's clear Vash is still very angry.]
Are you still seeing your therapist? Did you even try talking to him?
[Knives is pretty sure Hannibal won't be the help that Vash assumes he will be, but also it hadn't really occurred to him to seek that kind of help. He had made up his mind the best way to solve the tormet of those memories was to kill the humans responsbile.
And it had worked. He had finally slept well and felt so much better after they were dead.
He realizes he can't say that to Vash, though.]
No. [He says, after a moment. He manages to look away from Vash and seems sincerely regretful for a moment.
The only thing he actually regrets is how upset Vash is now.]
Do you think that's what I should have done? Talked to him? Or to you?
YES! [Opps. That might have sounded a bit too angry. He tries again.] Yes, of course that is one of a million different things you should have done instead turning to murder and violence! [Nope, still incredibly angry.]
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chiming
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Date: 2020-09-18 12:52 pm (UTC)From:I didn't.
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Date: 2020-09-18 01:09 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2020-09-18 01:13 pm (UTC)From:Look at you. So upset at the mere thought that rapists might be hurt. What is wrong with you?
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Date: 2020-09-18 01:25 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2020-09-18 01:27 pm (UTC)From:They had to be taught a lesson, Vash. No one should ever touch you like that.
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Date: 2020-09-18 01:49 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2020-09-19 01:05 am (UTC)From:How dare you belittle what happened by acting as if it were merely a difference of opinion.
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Date: 2020-09-20 12:47 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2020-09-20 12:51 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2020-09-20 01:04 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2020-09-21 08:42 am (UTC)From:No. It's not a lie. I have changed.
And I hate it. This would be so much easier if I could kill everyone.
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Date: 2020-09-21 08:45 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2020-09-21 08:50 am (UTC)From:He almost thinks he should apologize, but that wouldn't do anything to change what happened. He also hates that Vash would make him feel that way over taking out rapists. He crosses his arms over his chest and grips onto them tightly.]
How could they? [He counters instead of admitting the mixed feelings in his chest.]
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Date: 2020-09-21 09:07 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2020-09-21 09:09 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2020-09-21 09:10 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2020-09-21 09:13 am (UTC)From:He remembers thinking that Vash was too far gone to heal and attempting to absorb him instead, but that logic seems so faulty and broken now.]
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Date: 2020-09-21 09:26 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2020-09-21 09:28 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2020-09-21 12:17 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2020-09-22 08:19 am (UTC)From:I couldn't stomach it anymore.
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Date: 2020-09-23 01:13 am (UTC)From:Are you still seeing your therapist? Did you even try talking to him?
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Date: 2020-09-24 05:30 am (UTC)From:And it had worked. He had finally slept well and felt so much better after they were dead.
He realizes he can't say that to Vash, though.]
No. [He says, after a moment. He manages to look away from Vash and seems sincerely regretful for a moment.
The only thing he actually regrets is how upset Vash is now.]
Do you think that's what I should have done? Talked to him? Or to you?
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Date: 2020-09-24 06:37 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2020-09-24 06:39 am (UTC)From:Okay.
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